Clarifying ambiguous displays of emotion
Relationship uncertainty has a negative impact on romantic appeal only when potential partners feel as if each other is uninterested. On the other hand if they feel as if the partner is interested in them then it enhances the romantic appeal.
“It’s Not You”
The common denominator when interpreting mixed signals in order to resolve uncertainty is the importance of interpreting whether the desire to physically or emotionally disengage stems from feelings about you or your relationship. A partner who is struggling with physical discomfort, anxiety, depression, insecurity, or other negative emotions may be pulling away from having a relationship with anyone, at least in the short term. Here are a few signs to consider.
Demanding more personal time. A partner who makes excuses to take a break from couple time to hibernate or rejuvenate is messaging motivation: they want to spend time as a single person. But why? It might be due to emotional issues or mental stressors that have nothing to do with you. Posing a few non-judgmental, non-accusatory questions may prompt your partner to reveal the underlying source of the desire to take a break.
Withdrawing Affection. Before you automatically suspect infidelity, think insecurity. Emotional mood swings may produce feelings of unworthiness and unattractiveness that generates fear of rejection. Sometimes these feelings are well-founded. Health-related physical issues which may arise in connection with diet or medication may cause some people to shy away from engaging in the usual amount of physical affection within their relationship, in the same fashion as people keep their distance after a workout before they have showered, or after a cup of coffee before they have had a mint.
References
[i] Birnbaum, Gurit E., Yaniv Kanat-Maymon, Moran Mizrahi, Aya Barniv, Shir Nagar, Julia Govinden, and Harry T. Reis. 2018. “Are You into Me? Uncertainty and Sexual Desire in Online Encounters and Established Relationships.” Computers in Human Behavior 85 (August): 372–84. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2018.04.023.
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